A few observations on the news by Jason Goldtrap 05.16.08
Hold on to your hats, some unpopular opinions are on the way
1. California Supreme Court ruling on homosexual marriage.
First: it’s not “Gay Marriage.” I am in a gay marriage. My wife makes me very happy to be her husband.
Second: the main issue for 2008 is illegal immigration. If Dwayne and Frank pretend their married then the main issue for 2008 is illegal immigration! If St. Louis is nuked or Los Angeles crumbles or gas is $10 a gallon or if the wrong David wins on American Idol then the main issue for 2008 is illegal immigration! I am so freakin’ sick of these political games we play. This Siamese twin we call the two party system spends billions of dollars to elect someone who will, in the end, do exactly what the other guy was going do. If Obama or McCain is elected will the judges they appoint be any different?
Third: I am so upset by this ruling that I am boycotting homosexual sex. I will not have sex with another man. Actually, I am continuing an earlier protest I began on Sept. 27, 1997, when I stated publicly that I only wanted to have sex with one person and she is a woman. Also, since discovering the concept of reproduction, when I was about 12 and we got Cinemax, I have not once been interested in any alternatives to the female form much in the same way I’ve never wanted to eat a live gopher. No matter how popular some things might be, to me they are still just plain weird and stupid.
2. New Bin Laden Message: Ugh! What can he possibly say that’s any different? “America, sorry about the whole terrorism thing. Please kill me. I am in Alabad, Afghanistan, Gustav Square, Apartment 6g.” If he releases a tape with that message then, boy howdy, I’m interested.
3. Starbuck’s New Logo: Board meeting. “Hmm, let’s see. Folks are no buying $8 Lattes. We’re unable to move those Save the Whales T-shirts. Our stock has been devalued by 50% in the past year. Show of hands. How many want to lower the price of our product, improve the quality and focus on making the customer happy?” Count: 0. “Ok, how many want to spend $10 million to design a new logo?” Count: 12. “Good. Democracy still works.”
4. Disasters: I feel sorry for the earthquake and flood victims and I am willing to help, as always, because I feel it to be a Christian virtue. That being said, let me state that the reason why thousands died in Myanmar and China is because they lack freedom. All of the rice and money will not negate the obvious lesson that the best way to avoid national disaster is by promoting individual, personal responsibility. CC: New Orleans. Both Myanmar and China live in the year 2008, as does America. The difference is in our neck of the woods we think it prudent to build houses out of brick or steel or other material that most likely won’t collapse when the ground shakes or the levy breaks. Also, folks make a lot of money when you build something the right way. When you build a house out of mud and you live next to a river that’s known for flooding then I have to ask, “What’s wrong with you?”
Of course the polite and most politically correct answer is so tragedies are unavoidable because of bad government, tradition, cultural differences etc.. Well, 232 years ago, men in Philadelphia told the bad government to go jump in the lake. They then told the tradition keepers to find a way to help instead of hinder their fellow men. And best of all, they demanded that people leave their old cultures back in Europe and develop a new mode of thinking. The men who worked at Ellis Island in the 1890s did not care about the customs of Prussia. They did not recognize the importance of being a duke in the Astro-Hungarian Empire. They said, “You’re in America. Act American and succeed. Don’t like it? Your boat’s still at the dock. Ba-bye!” Because of their stalwart belief in humanity unchained, their faith in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and their intolerance of weak minded leadership, today, you can worship whomever you want, you can eat a Big Mac and you get a Sponge Bob Square Pants tattoo if that makes you happy. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Why anyone would reject freedom, capitalism and, it’s most lucrative dividend peace is beyond my comprehension. Why anyone would want to take this blessed experiment and turn it into a third world, socialist, plutocracy is equally beyond my comprehension.
America was a better place when we looked like Mayberry instead of the cantina from Star Wars.
5. Hollywood wants to go green: Marvelous! Try making movies that people actually want to watch. Next, lower the ticket price to something reasonable and quit charging $4.50 for a Pepsi. Ask yourself how John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart and Jimmy Stewart could become millionaires and earn the respect of their fellow citizens? Here’s a hint: they kept their clothes on and they used words that did not embarrass their grandmothers. I’m all for green. Cash is green and it’s a more effective incentive to ensure a clean environment than make believe science or white-guilt. When people make money they don’t want to live in a nasty nation. See point number four.
6. Israel is sixty-years-old. She doesn’t look a day over fifty-nine. You know why? Plastic surgery and fresh bagels with a little crème cheese and maybe a hint of cinnamon. Seriously, if Arabs spent their time studying why Israel succeeds while their nations fail they might find a way to be happy. Here’s a good question to ask: If Herschel wants to be a dentist and Mohammed wants to blow up a disco which option would best serve your nation? The failed Arab states have made hatred an industry. They blame Jews for everything under the sun. Why? It’s called distraction; which leads us back to the California Supreme Court’s ruling on homosexual marriage.
Stay awake friends and we’ll be fine. They haven’t outsmarted us. Peace, Jason Goldtrap.
By the way, feel free to post any disagreements but keep in mind, any comments containing foul language will be discarded.
